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1.The parents can take the child back after you adopt them. TRUTH: This is not true if the parent rights have been legally terminated. Once an adoption has been finalized in court, it is as if you had gave birth to that child.
2. It’s expensive. TRUTH: It’s free in almost every state. There is also an adoption tax credit where you can receive up to $13,570 tax credit you can read here for more information. The children come Medicaid providing health coverage, dental, and vision. There are other benefits that will be covered in your training.
3. All children available for adoption through foster care have special needs. TRUTH: Most of the children in foster care are due to neglect or abuse. With the appropriate resources and a loving home a child has the potential not only to overcome their past but thrive. What happened to them is not their fault.
A special needs child doesn’t automatically mean they have a disability it can mean they’re old or are a sibling group so they’re harder to place.
With the work of Dr.Karen Purvis they have seen MIRACULOUS changes in children who’ve come from abused homes. In her book The Connected Child she explains how you can help the child heal and live a normal happy life. I recommend this book to all foster parents and parents who are adopting. Scratch that, I recommend this book to any parent.
This book is tremendously valuable even for raising your birth children. I applied the concepts to my own foster children and after a short two months they couldn’t believe the difference. One child went from constantly getting in trouble at school to a great student.
4. You’re not allowed to adopt children if you’re the foster parent. TRUTH:In almost every case the foster parent gets FIRST choice to adopt the child.
On to the good part, how to adopt for free. In most states if you get licensed as a foster parent and choose to adopt it’s at no cost to you, you can read more The Bair Foundation is a Christian therapeutic foster care agency. They provide specialized training to care for children with emotional, behavioral, social, or medical needs. They have a foster to adopt program
If you decide you’d rather not be a therapeutic foster parent, you can become licensed through DSS. Contact your local DSS office to get started.
The Bair Foundation has an excellent support system in place, someone is on call 24/7 if you ever need anything. They will be in your home on a regular basis to help you through the process and to support the child. You can get more information here.
I want to share a true story that makes my heart just beam every time I think about it. There was a family we will call the Johnson’s. They lived down the road from a foster family we will call the Jacobs family. The Jacobs family had a foster child named Timothy. He was about ten years old and loved to play with the other neighborhood kids.
One day while playing at the Johnson’s home outside they asked Timothy about being adopted. He dropped his head and replied, “No one will ever adopt me, I’m too old people just want babies.” The couple couldn’t get those words out of their head. They decided they would start building a room for this child. They kept it a secret from him. Then one day they presented the paperwork to Timothy, and he was overwhelmed with joy. He got his forever family that day.
A common concern I hear is “what if I get attached and the child goes back home to their family.” If you choose to adopt risk is involved either way. If you go through an agency, the birth mom can change her mind and keep her baby. The worst that can happen is you love that child and their life gets better as a result. They will NEVER forget that. Can you honestly say you’ve ever regretted loving a child?
You gifted them a season in their life where they felt wanted, safe, and loved. They may even reach out to you as an adult. Being a foster parent is one of the most selfless things you can do. I admit it’s not for everyone. There are thousands of kids hoping for a family, you could be that family. Every day another child out of the system without a family. The facts are devastating, 70%-80% of foster children will end up in human trafficking. These kids need a family to protect them.
Adoption is affordable and there is support available to you. There are thousands of kids hoping for a family. They need to know they’re wanted. You could be that family for them. If you decide this is something that would interest you but you still have questions feel free to leave a comment or send me an email. We’re here for you.